I'm seeing myself lately. (could be the purpose of Him waiting on me??)
The physical self. The face that people see. I'm not sure I like the face of me lately.
I love how peoples spirit shows through their face. The glow. The LIFE. That contagious spirit that reaches out and touches anothers heart.
When I see me in photos and mirrors: I see-- pasty- dim - muted - overcast- sickness. I'm not sick... it just looks that way. In fact I get comments alot lately "Oh- geez. You don't look like you feel very good! Are you sick?"
That always helps my fragile, over sensitive, nerve exposed ego. I then collapse into a weeping heap. (just kidding- I do the weeping heap routine in private)
I think this two year APhD (Adoption PhD) path- has consequently put the basic -self -care -taking -care -of -me -and -my -health at the bottom of the 'priority list'. I eat pretty well... most of the time (what.. you didn't know Tim Horton's Honey Crullers are GOOD for you!?!?!). But the running out of time in a 24 hour day leaves spending time out side exercising.... well... it just left.
My face already bares that "November North" look. You know the one... lack of Vit D- Complete Depletion of all UV rays and a poisonous level of recirculated dry heat air combined with shakey inside lighting combine to afflict the patient with "Florescent Gloom Syndrome". This combined with residents reluctance to pull out warmer clothing- results in complete lack of normal exposure to fresh air, social activities, or any PrimeTime TV. (I mean.. geez... it' been completely dark for 4 hours by that time! It's time for bed already.)
I have a sneaky suspicion that my child meeting me in this state... would concern him greatly for my health. Perhaps this is why God is waiting on me. Must do something about it today. Yes Lord! I hear ya. Warmer clothes are out. Today is the day I'll put them to use and venture outside... for oh say.. 15 minutes. Huh? Longer.. ok- let me find the hats and mittens... I'm right behind you.