Traffit Hits...

Does anyone else get a little weirded out when your traffic/ analytics tells you someone visited from Ethiopia?

I don't understand the Iran, Bulgaria, Romania, Spain, Brazil, Portugal hits either. But the Ethiopia one just after passing court freaks me out a little. I went back through all my old posts and didn't see anything worth being scared about, but... still.

Even freakier... when looking at the "map of hits" it puts the location along the road to Hosanna.  This internet thing still weirds me out sometimes...


It's all very curious...

Mini Updates 1- Method/Principle

In an attempt to make some of this stuff more palatable (i.e. readable)- I'm going to attempt to send shorter, subject oriented 'updates'.  They will likely be more frequent though...  Normally it takes me a good week or so to write the monthly updates- so I hope the lack of thought re-writes doesn't leave you too disappointed.

As you've realized by now- there are some things that I have to be more cognizant of with The Boy- for a number of reasons.

Sandee's post quoted a quick and easy excerpt from Karen Purvis' Study Guide "Empowered to Connect".  It reads like this:

“Children from Hard Places.” This is the phrase used by Dr. Purvis and others to describe children that have experienced some type of abuse, neglect or trauma during their lives... Obviously, this phrase applies to most children who were adopted, spent time in foster care etc.

Our focus for these children must always be clear: to help them heal and become whole in body, mind and spirit. This is done not by focusing on achieving “good behavior,” but by helping our children create strong connections built on trust. Out of this can grow not only “good behavior,” but so many other things that our children need and that we desire for them. By balancing structure with nurture and always remaining mindful of the inherent preciousness of each and every child, we have the opportunity to help our children realize dramatic strides and in the process discover (and re-discover) the joy in parenting."


Heather wrote something else that completely resonated with me- my style- personality. But more importantly- seems somehow intergrated with the second paragraph from Dr. Purvis. 

"She said there are principle people and there are method people. The method people will spend hours trying to formulate the exact "how to" for any sort of thing. They aggressively assert that there is only one "right way" to do something. The principle people could care less about how it happens, just that it happens if it is supposed to. "
 
I should note Heather wasn't referencing parenting at all (she talking about her mom and cooking.. but still--- some how in my scrambled over-taxed brain--- the concept is the same)  This paragraph itself should tell you which one of those I typically am;  Method vs. Principle.

PRINCIPLE!!! 

In some ways- many can attest- I reeeaaalllly struggle with the existence purpose of "Method" and generally takes me twice as long as anyone else to figure out the best "methods" but I muddle through... if it's necessary. 


This is how I see a good chunk of my responsibility in parenting The Boy:  I'll need to take a more 'principled' approach. We won't always be focusing on "the right way" to do things (I rarely believe there is only one way- so I'm typically a waste of good breath trying to get me to believe otherwise).  The priority will be to try and balance the basics of structure with nurturing. Of course- first we have to nourish his Body before the Mind and Spirit can heal.

Joy. Trust. Self Confidence. Conscientious Decision Making.  Will those be the outcome?  Who knows... one can hope.

I'll leave you with a picture from Saturday: Pre Alex emptying bladder in my bed. (note to future-parenting-self:  limit 3 year olds water intake...) Alex would most want you to notice his boots. Connor would most prefer to be taking the picture.

The Green Monster (not Fenway)....

It finally hit me.

Jealousy. Envy. The "What about meeeeeeeee's"

I was surprised as I went along this journey that, I never looked at a referral post, a court photo or a 1st meeting video and was jealous. I always related to the parents and their emotion- but never a--- "what about me?"

Until 3 minutes ago. (actually I'm scheduling this to post in a few days, but... whatever....)

Yesterday I read a bloggers post, one I stalk keep up to date with regularly.  She had talked about a small update she received on her little girl. One of the updates was tiny ones, height and weight.  They were almost EXACTLY the same as my recent (read: only!) update on the Boy.  Yesterday- I LOVED reading it. I loved fantasizing relating that update to the Boy's. I realize- that isn't smart- nor healthy. But we all project an image of what the future holds as some sort of coping mechanism.  So I did.  Until today....

Today she posted her travel dates. Soon. Very Soon.

The big ugly green monster - that does not visit this house often- crashed the party.

 
I don't like feeling that way. In fact I'm committed to not being pissy today. I can't afford it anymore. It's too expensive and it's costing me way too much.

And you know what else.. I'm sure you heard it too, back there on the 2nd line?  The "What about meeeeee?" comment....            It's NOT ABOUT ME!!    (nodding ) Yes.  I heard that too.

Shaking it off. Getting busy with life. Being happy for the travelers. Joyful even!!

Peace be with us all.

The Thrill of the Thrift...

Confession:  My munchkin boy, is stylin!  Already.  Uh huh. Very few things, have I purchased new.  And NEVER at full price (I'm a  MARDEN's shopper).  See these 3 pieces of outdoor gear?  Total cost: $1.00.  That is not a typo- one dollah. The olive and orange lighter jacket was given to me at while visiting Randa in NJ. Her friends were having a clothing swap and they graciously invited me along and picked out the best stuff for the Boy.  He also came away with a pair of black snow pants and a Ralph Lauren White button down. (all of which look and feel brand new).

 These are both 2T. So they'll swim on him for a while...

There are 2 thrift stores- amongst the bins, hangers and occasional folded piles- I can frequently be found- daydreaming.  This yellow set comes from the one run by a local seniors group that supports their community health program.  It is a set of Columbia Ski pants (with bib) and matching winter jacket.  I've found that it is typical that groups that run thrift stores try to charge less for the childrens clothes.  This one charges between a quarter and fifty cents per piece of kids clothes.  It may have been worn a few times one season.

The other local one is run by the Catholic Church in the neighboring town. They sell their clothes by the pound. Uh Huh. Sometimes a quarter a pound. Sometimes fifty cents.  I once got a garbage bag full of boys clothes for $3.50.  They do price their outer wear a bit different.

I've been searching for an 18mo, everyday-ish warm jacket.  I've been scouting the thrifts. I didn't want a new one, cause, I don't think he'll be in that size too long. Each day they open (oh ya- they usually have funky hours) I run in, and see if there are any new ones on the racks. I've found some over the weeks but not any that I liked or were in a condition I'd take home.  Until this little gem.

London Fog 18m Water resistant, Orange Fleece Lined $2

Who knew London Fog made kids coats?

I know that there are "logical"  and "Good community" reasons to shop at these types of stores.

• great savings on wardrobe
  
• kids grow fast they grow out of clothes before the clothes wear out (especially ones coming home internationally)
  
• It basically ends up being like renting the clothes as I'll bring the good ones back as soon as he grows out of them
  
• Volunteer lead- good community outreach purposes
  

Yes. I found all those to be true.   You want to know WHY I ended up at these places?

• The only thing I felt like I could do FOR him, was get his clothes
• Great day dreaming time
• Call it therapy

These are 2 of my fav's. Only the olive pants were new from Mardens. THRIFT STORES RULE!

I'll refrain from showing you his closet. Mostly cause it's my closet too and that part is messy. His section(s) is neat as a pin.  To give you an idea of what good stuff you can find with a little time, patience and day dreaming determination... these totes are full of clothes that aren't (obviously) in his closet:

They are organized by Tops or Bottoms and then by size with the totes labeled on the outside at the point the size changes. My crap is lucky to get washed and folded before it gets tossed in a tote for the next season...

I'm really going to enjoy having my Boy here to care for.