What Melatonin has done for our family...
- I can parent my kid at night
- I can sooth my child at night
- I can rock my child at night
- I can hold my child without regret
- I can talk to my child without fear of it adding 30 minutes till sleep
- I can sing to my child again
- We can revisit the days activities with smiles and laughter
- We can talk about what tomorrow brings and it ends with a kiss, a snuggle, and laying still until sleep visits and is welcomed in.
I can not begin to say all the ways Melatonin has helped us. ... take the edge off. I admit, to giving him this before bed. Although it was suggested by our therapist and agreed to by ped. It has taken a long time to get the right stuff and the right amount for him. At first too much and he was in REM for almost 12 hours straight, eyes almost wide open, thrashing, moaning, laughing, kicking, having apparently many very active dreams involving boxing or kickball?- while mommy spent the nights avoiding elbows, knees and kicking feet. I even had a fat lip once.
I've lowered the dose substantially. To the point, one would wonder if it really is having any effect at all. It is. Trust me.
A slightly higher dose would get him to sleep faster, but in the morning, he'd hit the ground pushing limits. As if, he felt so out of control, he had to "take it back" in the morning.
My co sleeper, was an active "fight the sleep" guy. Doing painful, ridiculous and hard to watch stuff just to NOT go to sleep. Some of these things were so so so so so hard to watch or be subjected to- that I admit- many of our sleep failures (ok- all of them) were directly related to my inability to PARENT him pre sleep.
Many- ok- MOST of all my MOMMY FAIL moments are related to this time around sleep. And going through what we are now, I realize, had stunted his ability to let the security in- because- in all honesty- there were many times I was Unpredictable (i.e. not consistent) and and Ugly (i.e. not nurturing) watching this very frustrating and painful thing happen to my son and NOT KNOW HOW TO HELP!
I hope we are soon in a place where he feels secure enough that we can go without using this, but for now.... call me a bad mother if you want to.... but the truth is, I can now parent him properly and he can let me.