Thursday, June 10, 2010

What is He Up To?...

Good question.  He wants to stay home... ALL. THE. TIME.

He's been snuggly-er lately.
He's been caring for his "Baby"- rocking her, singing to her, feeding her.
He's been reaching for that comforting mole much more often.
He's confident here at home.
He's finally ok with being in a room alone for more (slightly more) than 30 seconds.
He's less outgoing with visitors.

This is where he stayed, during his Citizenship Celebration

While all of this was going on, outside...

I've written before that he has been spending one day (6 or so hours) with my Mom & Dad and then one day with Ashlee.  Today should have been that day with my Mom... he wants nothin' of it.

Apparently last week, while at my mom's he got anxious a couple times and kept asking for me. Upon my arrival I noticed him slightly less excited -- I chalked it up to him being more comfortable with the coming and goings.

Recently, we went for a visit. After turning on their street- He asked- "Mommy. Nite Nite, Nana's?"
"No. Hunny, you don't have to take a nap at Nana's. We're just visiting for a bit."
"Mommy? Be Right Back?" (his asking if I'm going to leave).
"No, Hunny. Mommy Stay with Teg."
To this he gets a big bashful smile on his face and relaxes. (On my kid- the BIG & BASHFUL smile is, in fact, possible)

Why? What is he up to?

He's got a TON of developmental milestones going on right now. He's suddenly obsessed with all things fine motor related. Moved on from Diapers to Big Boys. His self motivation with speech and language- huge leaps EVERY DAY!  Returned to Naps a few weeks ago. Growing like a weed. A sense of independence fit for 1776.  Learning .. and slowly accepting.. that Mom has expectations of him.  There is a lot going on...

And yet, when I think of why he doesn't want to leave the house.... Why he is so diligent in controlling his environment and who enters it .... I think of a year ago.

A year ago- he was experiencing some major transitions.
A year ago this process started for him.
A year ago he was so hungry his body started turning against itself for fuel.
A year ago he was as yellow as as a yield sign. A year ago his hair was red.. turning blonde.

I guess if he needs some time to rest at home. To feel a bit in control of his environment.. he's certainly worthy. Where were you a year ago? Have you ever had a year in which so much has changed and out of your control?

I know, I haven't.


Chrissy said...

Wow! I have read on other blogs about regressions around the time they were put in orphanage! It is great that you are able to see it going on! I will be thinking of you! I know that must be tough!

Liz said...

Elfe has been clingy-er than usual lately too, and I realized that we've been home almost six months...and that she spent between five and six months in care before I arrived in Ethiopia...I suspect she is worried that she'll be moving on to someone else soon, so I am laying on the "Mommy loves you forever, we are a family forever" pretty thick right now.

It sounds to me like he is also starting to realize that YOU are his family, not just anyone here in this new place.

Tammy said...

We experienced this same thing from the anniversary of our son's relinquishment. The good thing is that it sounds like your son knows who his mommy is and that he trusts you. All what you have written looks like good signs of attachment to me. You are doing an amazing job parenting him!! I admire you.

Thanks for all you share about your journey and experiences. I feel like I know your you, your son and your personalities. It's been fun!