- that I haven't watched the news since I left the Hilton in Ethiopia (Haiti earthquake)
- that I was grateful the earthquake happened after I received his referral and while I was in Ethiopia-- otherwise-- I knew THAT person, formerly known as myself, would have tried find a way to dedicate the next year of her life to Haiti and possibly.. dare I say it... given up on Ethiopia... ugh
- that after a couple days in Ethiopia I really liked being "disconnected" and have yet to welcome it back fully.
- that I've recently had to ask what the date is and after receiving an answer, had to ask "Which Month?"
- that although my son is (most) always coiffed and properly dressed in snappy attire-- his companion, me, (most) always needs another 30 minutes in the bathroom mirror and time to re asses her wardrobe. (and is often left wondering if she brushed her teeth)
- that I have trouble convincing him to keep his pants on
- that I love being a mom. I will love being a single mom.
- that I'm "struggling" being a single mother- finding the balance and focus of where and what needs to come next- holding it all together when exhaustion hits- keeping my voice and actions in appropriate context for the 3 year old that surrounds me... I struggle. I don't think any one around me knows this.- It's possible, I'm struggling even more than I think...?
- that my son has learned the phrase "Son of a B*tch"
- that I would day dream about to being a stay at home mom... until I actually became an unemployed single mother (aka: another statistic)
- that I remember wanting to raise my son to be loving, confident, empathetic, strong, unique, independent, kind, generous, hopeful and joyful-- and now that he's here--- I can't for the life of me think of HOW to do that?
2 comments:
I think the answer to the last question is "just keep doing what you're doing!"
Actually, maybe that's the answer to all the underlying questions here...
you're doing it now - the last line - you're living it. You've come so far.
Post a Comment