Everyday another post is being written. Everyday- another is being played out. And yet- when I get to the computer- it's after 11pm and I need sleep. And clean laundry. And clean dishes. And to organize. And put away winter stuff. And get his paperwork and photos organized and get them safely put away. ... but here's the thing.. I've let the pressure of getting these things done.. go away.
I lost my job not too long ago. In preparation to go back to work, we were pressing ahead to get organized- get things done- get him ready for school- get... well we weren't getting anywhere, really. Truth be told. So now, we have time.
Some of you know- that shortly before that time frame-- I was struggling. Struggling to get him to do what I thought I needed him to do.
I've stopped struggling.
He likes that.
We are happy.
So much I want to share. So much to reflect on. So much that I want soon to be mom's to know- I learned so much from those that walked before me- Pay it forward. Isnt' that part of the deal??
Here's the (other part of) deal:
You'll have to take what I can offer today. I realize it's not the most thought out writing lately... Not the best edited... please, forgive.. and love me anyway.
We're in a good place.. today.. this week. Even tho there are still nights he cries in his sleep. Nights he painfully says words I don't understand. Even though we went back to a bottle (warm milk & cinnamon) for a little while. Even though he bit me hard enough to draw blood (LOTS). Even though physical ailments keep rising to the surface for both of us. Even though he withdraws to his own place, seemingly looking back, remembering...
We've laughed a lot lately. LOTS! We hug a lot lately. LOTS! Being outside helps us. Setting boundaries and staying respectful of them helps (especially with others). Learning the best way to eat, helps. Laughing helps. Not teaching too many lessons in a day helps. Learning new words each day helps. Regular sleeping patterns help. Saying things I want him to know helps. Praying helps. Holding hands helps. Not freaking out when he poops in the tub helps. Getting breaks helps. Getting help, helps. Doing things together helps. Learning to play on his own helps.
(Yes... I just knocked on wood)