Saturday, April 17, 2010

A lot of LOTS..

Everyday another post is being written. Everyday- another is being played out. And yet- when I get to the computer- it's after 11pm and I need sleep. And clean laundry. And clean dishes. And to organize. And put away winter stuff. And get his paperwork and photos organized and get them safely put away. ... but here's the thing.. I've let the pressure of getting these things done.. go away.

I lost my job not too long ago. In preparation to go back to work, we were pressing ahead to get organized- get things done- get him ready for school- get... well we weren't getting anywhere, really. Truth be told.   So now, we have time.

Some of you know- that shortly before that time frame-- I was struggling. Struggling to get him to do what I thought I needed him to do.

I've stopped struggling.

He likes that.

We are happy.

Blissfully so.

So much I want to share. So much to reflect on. So much that I want soon to be mom's to know- I learned so much from those that walked before me- Pay it forward. Isnt' that part of the deal??

Here's the (other part of) deal:
You'll have to take what I can offer today. I realize it's not the most thought out writing lately... Not the best edited... please, forgive.. and love me anyway.

We're in a good place.. today.. this week.  Even tho there are still nights he cries in his sleep. Nights he painfully says words I don't understand. Even though we went back to a bottle (warm milk & cinnamon) for a little while. Even though he bit me hard enough to draw blood (LOTS).  Even though physical ailments keep rising to the surface for both of us.  Even though he withdraws to his own place, seemingly looking back, remembering...

We've laughed a lot lately. LOTS! We hug a lot lately. LOTS! Being outside helps us. Setting boundaries and staying respectful of them helps (especially with others). Learning the best way to eat, helps. Laughing helps. Not teaching too many lessons in a day helps. Learning new words each day helps. Regular sleeping patterns help. Saying things I want him to know helps. Praying helps. Holding hands helps. Not freaking out when he poops in the tub helps. Getting breaks helps. Getting help, helps. Doing things together helps. Learning to play on his own helps.

(Yes... I just knocked on wood)


Staci said...

I am so happy you have this time to get things figured out. I mean, "figuring out" takes an entire life time with each child, but you guys are doing such amazing work right now, and he needs it, and even though it might not be exactly what you expected you are being for him what he needs.

That is pretty freaking amazing.

I have had more poop in the tub than will ever be ok in my book, but never a bite with blood. Give me some time. I have more kiddos coming. ;)

kristine said...

Beautiful! Sorry about your job. Happy for the rest of it. You've made huge strides so quickly! Some parents never learn what you have.

Editing is overrated. Sharing is more important.

Upstatemomof3 said...

I think all we can do (especially as parents) is look at today. Is look at the good and the bad. Is look at what we are doing and what is working. And realize that if something is helping - even if other people do not understand - than it is good for us and for our family. And do not worry about your writing or your editing. Blogging and the community is here to support you - who you are and what your story is - regardless of how you tell it.

Gretchen said...

I just LOVE him, and you too! Keep sharing, and keep loving. I don't know how you do it, honestly. My toddler Samuel doesn't suffer any loss, and he drives me crazy. Sometimes we suffer from "independence insanity" as he screams at me with his arms crossed and lips out. *sigh* God bless you Shannon...