I'm not great at it. I'm not great at letting go. Letting go of things I'm emotionally invested in. It's what causes me to take on too many work projects. It causes me to hang onto relationships that have lived their life, or season, as it should be.
But I'm trying. I have to.
I'm exhausted. And I need to let go - so that new normal- can have room to grow. Flourish.
In God speak- make some margin. Margin for God to give me more.
So I've been spending time- cleaning up my fB and blogs that I follow. Cleaning up isn't a great word for it. Letting go. Letting go of a few people that I've been invested in for so long. Organizing my fB friends for quicker faster updates in groups.
I ache a little. It hurts letting go. Even if its just these here interwebs. There are people behind these stage names, blog titles, and profiles. People with families that I've watched/ stalked as they grow. People that have held my hand and nurtured me with their smarts, wits and been there done that experience. People with the right quote or verse and exactly the right time.
Granted- most of these people do not have one clue who I am. Some of the ones I stopped 'following' - I can't even remember why I started??? But some- I just needed to make some choices. And I need to continue to whittle it down.
I get tense and feel behind when my g00gle reader says 400+ unread posts and I've got 30 minutes before I should be asleep- knowing that Mr. Little is going to be awake at 6am saying- "good morning momma" - and this woman needs 8 hours (ok it's been months since 8 but I'm determined to get back there cause my body, mind and son can't take it any more!!). But there are now 400 things on the list and I must check them all off and it feels like cheating to just go- 'check all'.
If you suddenly noticed that I'm no longer 'following' your blog- Im really sorry. And this new, well intentioned, motivated to move forward girl... may in fact end up back 'following you' but I'm going to try and stick this out. I've got to make some changes. Small ones. Big ones. We're moving onward.
Of course- despite my recent blog break from here- I'm still keeping my little journal of life here active. We're not going anywhere--- yet.