Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A Brand New Day...

It was a day...

A day that followed a few others...

A few others that were hard...

Tired...

Full...

Controlling...

Spinning....

Needing more...

Pushing away...

Pulling close...


There were days that I questioned myself. Questioned what was happening with you. What could I do, to ease your pain. I could see it in your face. See it in your play. Feel it in your hugs. Feel it in your too rough touch. See it in your lounging in bed. Sense it in your pleading. Touch it with your pushing.

Confounded. I didn't know what to do. So I did something that doesn't come natural to your momma.. but I'm learning. I was patient. I asked for help. I kept my voice soft. Subtle. Nurturing. Gave you time. Space.

You heard me when I said- you were a Good Boy. You heard me when I said You deserve praise. You heard me when I said I like to watch you play and work hard. You heard me when I said you are smart. You are strong. You are fun. You are a joy. You heard me say you deserve to hear these things. You heard me say God gave you a good heart.

I heard you say "I love you Momma."  For the first time- on your own- you put your hand in my hair- your nose on mine- smiled- giggled- "I love you Momma".

I love you too my son. You fill me up.

5 comments:

{Staci} said...

oh boy. that is the best story ever.

Waiting for Zufan! said...

What a great post. So sweet! Your little guy is adorable. Nice to meet you guys. :)

anymommy said...

An incredible moment. I'm so happy for you.

Chrissy said...

so sweet!!

Chris and Jess said...

Shannon, you just made tears burst from my eyes. I'm not kidding you. That is beautiful.