Two years ago, I wrote this and posted it on June 29, 2009.
Sounds like yesterday.
Two years has gone by.
On June 30, 2009 in Hosanna Ethiopia- a man traveled a very long hard distance carrying his sick and dieing child. It's been two years since he's laid hands on his child, but he now knows that his child lives, gives, thrives, loves. That's all I'm going to say about that.
Traumaversary. You've heard it. I didn't recognize it last year until after it was over. And perhaps, given our 'newness' at this, hindsight may be the only way I'll know for sure that's been whats been going on-- but-- things have gotten weird, more inconsistent, shakey, clingy, meltdownapalooza and have been for a while. Months now. Good days and bad - but consistently-- needy. It feels familiar. We've been here before. I'm hopeful and expecting a shift in the wind here any day now. I don't like seeing him in pain, and I need a bit of break from the 'heavy' days in order to enjoy and give him more light, fun, joy and love.
Two years ago, he suddenly had food being thrust upon him often. He had people loving on him. Handeling him. washing him. Kissing him. A man. A tall man. A doctor who kept him by his side many days. Instead of simply giving him is medical check up and moving on- he kept this boy with him as he did his work, as he went about his days. He loved this boy. The boy loved him.
Teg grew 5 inches in the 7 months he was in care. 5 inches. He entered care at a bloated with water 16lbs and 27 inches. He was 2years and 2mo old. Within a week he'd lost the water weight and was down to about 14 lbs. By the time I showed up on the scene- he'd doubled his weight and grown 5 inches. They fed him extra meals and added sugar to his meals to fatten him up. It worked. (AND fed the intestinal bugs). But the height growth. I don't attribute that to feedings. He THRIVED in care. At least for a short time. And lets keep it in perspective- it's institutional living. By the time I arrived, he was also very ready to get the heck out of there.
He thrived, and grew, because he was loved by a constant and consistent caregiver. He was given food and relative safety and warmth and human touch by the nannies. But he was loved and doted on by one person and that - I believe- is the sole reason his body could respond to the nourishment. His body, was preparing to die, until this man took special care of him.
We can feed the body, but until we care for the spirit- we are incomplete and can just prepare to die.
This is my reminder today- to be more than a caregiver to my child. Feed his spirit. Feed my spirit. Food. Safety. Shelter. It only perpetuates the hell if we aren't Loving our spirits.