Eh- ness

For at least two weeks now.  "Eh".

"Eh"

It seems to have settled in. Taken hold for a little while. Oddly. I also have a sort of peace in this adoption process. I know that I know that I know... it will work in His time. The only right time.

It's the Day in Day out. I'm admittedly struggling with the day to day. Every fiber in my being wants to be nesting. Doing all these little things that in the end just prepare for the 'later'. But I spend my 8-10 or more hours a day at work. And I love my job. I know in my bones it has great purpose. I work for to support my alma mater.  I rejoice on payday only to remind myself that I am grateful to have a job and have a job that is challenging.

At the same time- the Mother Nesting thing is kicking in full drive. Nothing else seems to matter much. I mean. It all matters. But- the priority of nesting. The Priority of taking care of the few things I can take care of- is the only driving force right now. Its the only thing moving me.  Moving me.  Keeping me moving.


So in an attempt to survive: Next week I start creating a leave plan. Start building my ideal leave plan so that I don't leave my people in the lurch. So that things progress. So that it's better when I return.  Cope. Survive. Move.

ps- i've scheduled this to post during the weekend I'll be spending 30+ hours working... and social worker arrives Tuesday for HomeStudy update.  ugh  if only we didn't have to eat or sleep- imagine who much we could get done!