Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The Bells of St. Joe's...

Fair warning: I'm typing in free think here...

So you may have realized, that for the past few years, I've been stretching my spiritual wings, so to speak. It started long before the adoption journey, but the exercise of both together only strengthened each of them singularly. Provided clarity. Surety.

I wonder, do any of you find yourselves having to "re-learn" or unlearn things you 'knew' as a child in order to get your life straight as an adult? In order to become the person you are meant to be?

I don't know if it matters, but I was raised in the Catholic Church.

I remember going to church with my grandparents from a young age. We lived across the river from the 2 churches (one french speaking- the other English). When I went with my grandparents we always went to St. Joseph's (french). I was upset if the bells would ring and we weren't already on our way to mass. As I got older and attending Sunday School we went to St. Mary's (where masses were in English).

When we were in HS as I was about to be confirmed, my parents decided to switch and go to a Methodist Church. My father had been divorced and my mom married him, so the Church wouldn't allow either of them to accept communion, so they switched us. I'll ignore the obvious arguments one could have on this subject as it doesn't really relate. I've gone on a bit of a tangent here, except to say, that switching at that point in my life, may not have been the sole cause, but a contributor to losing interest in learning more about God, Christ and all ...

I realized something the other day... I struggle with knowing something may be a sin, and really incorporating that into my heart. Keeping true my daily life.

I remember, learning and hearing "That is a sin", but then again the examples I saw, simply taught that if you ask for forgiveness, it's ok.

The unlearning of the cavalier-ness of that is hard. I'm working on it though.

Not being prudent with my mouth, having excess food & not taking prime care of my body feels wrong. It feels- off. I know it is wrong. I'm working on it. Any pointers? Passages?

Little by little- I'll get there. I know it.


emaye said...

Sis just got back to me. It's her last day of teaching school tomorrow, so she plans to e-mail thought (through me) sometime really soon here.

Dealing with our sins is a really hard thing to do. Do you know if you're saved or not? If you're saved, you have the Holy Spirit abiding in you, and you have strength through Him to conquer sins. (That at least should give you some confidence that it is do-able!) I'll be e-mailing you more later.

ShannonC said...


Queenie said...

Thanks for visiting my blog!! I share your convoluted spiritual journey:
1. raised Episcopalian
2. converted to Catholicism
3. found a home with the Congregationalists
4. am now a VERY happy UU

Sometimes it takes a while before we find where we exactly belong....I wish you peace and happiness on your journey!

traci said...

I think you are on the right track my friend. We are not anywhere near horrorified enough at our sin.
Oops, sorry Jesus.
And we are right back at the same thing.
James 1:23-4
For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was.

If we are not mortified by our sin and don't seek to change our behavior, what does our faith mean to us. It boggles the mind. Keep up the soul searching, God will never let you down.