Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Fair warning: I'm typing in free think here...
So you may have realized, that for the past few years, I've been stretching my spiritual wings, so to speak. It started long before the adoption journey, but the exercise of both together only strengthened each of them singularly. Provided clarity. Surety.
I wonder, do any of you find yourselves having to "re-learn" or unlearn things you 'knew' as a child in order to get your life straight as an adult? In order to become the person you are meant to be?
I don't know if it matters, but I was raised in the Catholic Church.
I remember going to church with my grandparents from a young age. We lived across the river from the 2 churches (one french speaking- the other English). When I went with my grandparents we always went to St. Joseph's (french). I was upset if the bells would ring and we weren't already on our way to mass. As I got older and attending Sunday School we went to St. Mary's (where masses were in English).
When we were in HS as I was about to be confirmed, my parents decided to switch and go to a Methodist Church. My father had been divorced and my mom married him, so the Church wouldn't allow either of them to accept communion, so they switched us. I'll ignore the obvious arguments one could have on this subject as it doesn't really relate. I've gone on a bit of a tangent here, except to say, that switching at that point in my life, may not have been the sole cause, but a contributor to losing interest in learning more about God, Christ and all ...
I realized something the other day... I struggle with knowing something may be a sin, and really incorporating that into my heart. Keeping true my daily life.
I remember, learning and hearing "That is a sin", but then again the examples I saw, simply taught that if you ask for forgiveness, it's ok.
The unlearning of the cavalier-ness of that is hard. I'm working on it though.
Not being prudent with my mouth, having excess food & not taking prime care of my body feels wrong. It feels- off. I know it is wrong. I'm working on it. Any pointers? Passages?
Little by little- I'll get there. I know it.