Wednesday, April 8, 2009

There Will Come a Day...

"There will come a Day" Do you now this song? Faith Hill sings it beautifully. I have it playing now to get me through this post. Blogging is sometimes odd.

I started this to track progress and keep family and friends in touch with the process and offer some learning tools on supporting other adoptive families. Sort of a "let's learn together". Also to chronicle my end of this journey to Ethiopia. I knew there would be many paths. Many unknowns. I just didn't prepare myself for the emotional effect each fall would take.
The "journal" aspect of blogging cannot be escaped... at least not by me.

The cathartic part of processing the cacophony echoing in my head is invaluable. Sending that out to the empty space and reaching out to other families that only they can truly relate to, is a release I hadn't counted on. A real blessing.

So how, do I try and keep family and friends involved and interested in the process without sucking the life out of their anticipation for the arrival of this child blessing?

There are times, like now, when I have to repeat positive mantras throughout the day, just so the overwhelming sadness part of adoption doesn't drop me to my knees in the middle of the day. When the sweet release of seeing families grow just stops happening. When it all seems to drift away as if it will never happen. What do I say to them during those bits of time? What do I post for them in an effort to be true and honest, yet not be the "Intense Ingrid" or "Debbie Downer" or "Nettie Negative"?

"You must be so excited!" Umm ya. I will be. But right now all I can think of is the heartbreak and struggle the family in Ethiopia is grappling with.

Not an answer that is fair to say casually. Not an answer that everyone is ready to hear. Not an answer that many will ever be. Only an answer that those out in the adoption world can truly grasp.

I have learned so much from the happy glossy joyful adoption blog posts. I have learned perhaps even more from the posts that grapple with emotion and struggles that often times only relate to those sensitive adoptive families. Thank you all for sharing. I hope someday I'll be as insightful to offer support & friendship to you.

Speaking of which... A group of Ethiopian Maine adoptive families got together for a big giant play date. The Holiday Inn Express was kind enough to offer a meeting room to eat lunch (Asmara's Ethiopian Food!!!) and the pool for the kids to go swimming. It was the first time I'd met this group. Even though many of them live 2+ hours away, I have to believe having this network will do wonders for my family in the future. I'm so greatful to have been invited to join and THRILLED that Ashlee, Ryan and Feleke agreed to come along. I so look forward to being able to someday offer support & friendship to these folks. Wow! Just thinking about this weekend, my mood has lifted! yay

There will come a day...
There will come a day..
This too shall pass..

This too shall pass..
Today I'm at peace and joyful..
Today I'm at peace and joyful..

Someday soon, the Sun will shine again. It will stop snowing and raining. I'll shake off the winter cobwebs. The beauty will show it's face again. I know it will and I will no longer be a Debbie Downer!


Evelyn said...

I love this post because it's how I feel! There are so many emotions in this adoption journey - most people have no idea. I, too, am so grateful for my blog buddies. YOU understand!

Ethiopian kids get together sounds so fun. Glad you got to enjoy!

courtney rose said...

Bravo! Clap, clap!

courtney rose said...

Also? I'm so glad to have found your site again. It was YOURS that I happened upon one day and took your self-portrait idea of the wait. Yours is so much more beautiful and profound- I'm more of a lump. But all the same, it will be a reminder for me one day about how crappy this wait really was.

Ronnie and Suzi said...

Soo soo true. I had to get a fridge magnet that said, "NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP"...It was my motivation, my reminder that a new day will come (PS I love that song too! Spoke worlds to me during our wait) Each day is it's own emotion though. And it's a good thing there's always a tomorrow!!