Stewing. Brewing. Praying.
For almost a week, every quiet moment I get, my head fills with with with.... well... honestly...
Pretty much in that order.
I thought I was ready. But I'm not. As I sat down to right it out I knew I needed to sit, go to church and pray on it one more day.
Of course, what I have to say, means nothing to this situation. I'm sure of that. I'm also reasonably sure that God's Will, will be done here.... but.... things were done, in the name of Jesus Christ, that, I believe, to be wrong. And that, my friends, is not
I have actually been to their blog before this crisis. I may visit it more often.
I want to believe that God's presence was so over powering they simply said 'yes God' and did his will. But, but... but... it sounded like fear. It sounded like surrendering to the fear.
I believe they "knew" they were acting "properly". I believe they are God fearing, Go Jesus loving people act in the Holy Spirit folks.
I believe every. single. one. of us fail at living that out every. single. day.
I believe adoption is a knee buckling, kick you when you're down, put fear in your heart like you've never thought possible, beautiful, scary, righteous, very tricky, reprehensible, blessed, praiseworthy, morally trying, painful, fulfilling, test your faith in God and all humanity process.
That doesn't stop with 'homecoming' or 'finalization'.
I do not want to be an ASSuming ass, as I have been known to be. I want to learn from the mistakes of those throwing mud on people, threatening damnation and twisting verses as if they were only meant for them.
I know it is possible to give rise to the oppressed, and still be an oppressor. I'm quite sure, that is what
I know some will respond to that statement by saying "Yes! This is a war. It is the devil we are at odds with." ummm- perhaps. But let us remember, that God loves that family. Each and every one of them, regardless of where they live. And Jesus was not an Oppressor. Jesus didn't build a kingdom by showing riches, benefits, heirs and genealogy. Jesus showed love, grace and mercy.
I believe that some human laws, regardless of black & white or grey areas, are truly unjust and therefore MUST be broken for the sake of humanity. This is CLEARLY NOT the case here. (I do not use bolded font often).
This is a case of a family saying, "stay away from my kid. She is one of us. She is not available for adoption." This is a case of privilege showing up in abundance to intimidate, squander, oppress and manipulate. Showing 'evidence' of their 'haves' in order to deflate and humiliate the 'have nots', berating them into succumbing. It is torture. Torture they used to get the answers they wanted.
Most of the week, I didn't feel like I could show my 'face' here until I could garner some clear thinking. But the more I thought, the more judgmental I became. The more protective I felt of my friends for sticking their necks out in the name of justice. But it didn't seem right, writing a post to simply back up my friends. Its more than that. (this, they already know.)
I read the original post. Presumably, just as they were deleting comments. Before many/any edits were made, before they changed the title (check link address vs. title now) and before it was removed entirely. My first instinct, was not ANGER. Did you hear that? NOT anger. By nature- I tend to be pretty hot headed angry. And reading those words, .... i got turned inside out and my Christian heart responded. All I could think about was a fear / real possibility I'd long ago suppressed. All I could do was pray about it for days. The last 2 days I've tried to forget about it. Maybe tomorrow. Although-- maybe not. Maybe this was it.
Edited to Add: 3 minutes after posting this, I log into fB and this is sitting at the top of my news feed from preacher Joyce Meyer: