I wonder sometimes:
What have I let go of, in order to build this family??
I pondered tonight that I spend very little time doing anything 'social' this days. Friends and I text, fB or every once and a while pick up the phone... but I struggle remember the last time I went out just to grab a drink with friends - it was sometime in late August or early September for Trish's birthday, on a Sunday afternoon. Rowdy.
Mostly I wonder... what will daily life look like after the Little Man and I are together as a family.
Actually I've been looking forward to the change in social scenes for quite some time. The concerts in the park without a 'borrowed' nephew. Library time. Recitals and Practices. Soccer practices and dance classes. Going for a walk with someone to accompany me and a stroller to push. Play dates. Heck, a date is a date... and I'll take it! I suspect I'll be better at the play dates than the adult dates/interviews/awkward pauses...
To my boy: I've been single my whole life, thus far--- but rarely (if ever) "Lonely" until - You weren't here.
Lets EDIT this and get real for a moment in retrospect. Hind sight and all: I wrote "been single my whole life". Yes. And when suddenly there is a moving human being in your house, all your issues, will show your WHY YOU'VE BEEN SINGLE YOUR WHOLE LIFE. Oh, I thought those therapy sessions had taught me coping tools and I was so much more at peace than before. Pththth HA! My son is fabulous and I love being a family. But- if you are reading this and have the slightest hint of 'issues' in your past... they will be uncovered my friend. Oh yes they will. Our children through adoption are smart and intuitive and will shake you out. Get professional help now and keep them on staff. If you can move them in your house. do it. I laugh at my pie eyed ignorance.